I can’t believe the summer is almost over. While most are
sad to see the season come to an end. I am looking forward to the fall. Most of
you don’t know this about me, but there is something about the Fall that makes
me celebrate. It’s how I observe a new year. I find comfort in the brisk cool
air and the leaves changing colors. As someone who’s never been a fan of
‘change’ –I just find great comfort in watching the leaves change from green to
red to flying off the trees. It’s a cycle that is so predictable in its
unpredictability.
I did it again. I turned on my computer and allowed myself
to feel like I would at sixteen: misunderstood and alone. But before you start
to think this is a pity party – don’t – I am about to explain. I miss being
surrounded by feminists all the time. Many of you know, I not only identify
with feminism but I also try to live a feminist lifestyle. The problem is I look around and while
amazing women surround me – I miss my friends who understand that major part of
my life. It’s the same feeling I felt before I identified with feminism –am I
the only one out there that thinks like this? Only this questions is answered
with, “ No, but your feminist friends are busy right now, and will get back to
you as soon as possible”.
I miss my world of Women's Studies. Enter a group of women who are so incredibly special. Some eco-feminists, and vegans, some who are getting MSWs and working in the field. Some who are single, some who are married. Women who are trans, who are gay but mostly what you will find is a collection of women who are so empowered. Being around these women changes you-for the better. They are the hope the world needs. They are the helping hands. They are the backbone of any movement.
My dreams have always been different then everyone else's. At 14, I wanted to be a Senator for Massachusetts, at 16 it changed to President of the United States, and by the time I graduated college, I wanted to change the world. I always knew law would be where I ended up. It has been my dream for as long as I can remember and Women's studies allowed me to take my dream and my passions and find an end result. Enter in classes filled with Reproductive Rights, Legal Rights of Women, and Family Law. Readings that are filled we deconstructing ideas about society. Learning about tragedies that never make the local news. You may see a young adult who has changed her career path a few times, but I see a woman who's embraced her leadership skills and passions for humanity. I see myself as a strong woman who can bring forth a better community, and a better world for tomorrow. So why is it I feel incredibly alone in many other aspects of my life? Or so misunderstood?
Maybe it is because my dreams and ideas are so different. I want a lifetime of helping others and doing my best to help seek change in the world. I want a nice home and to be well-traveled. So why do I feel as though everyone around me is more concerned about me finding someone to share my life with? I recently joined Match.com with a friend. The results? Have been terrible. There should be a dating website for feminists because there has to be an easier way than this. Its incredibly challenging explaining to someone my fame of mind especially when personally, I don't care if I find someone. What I care about is scoring high enough on my LSAT to get into Northeastern University School of Law. Is this selfish? Is this weird at 24? Am I supposed to want what everyone else wants - a career, a house, children and a husband? I think I am most afraid that all of those things don't matter to me and I am not sure when they will. Maybe later on in my life but maybe not - and I am okay with that. I am okay that my life may be untraditional.
I'm not sure why it is easier to explain this to my feminist friends. I don't think my ideas are necessarily "feminist" but I think they've seen me hands on with my passions. They've discussed, they've asked the tough questions, they've witnessed it. Sometimes it's so nerve racking to explain to my friends or even my family. Admitting that I am different just makes me feel like a girl in high school trying to fit in but knowing deep inside - I'm not like everyone else. Sometimes I really do stop and ask myself what my age is. I'm 24. I am empowered. I am a leader. I am smart. I am going to handle anything that life throws at me. So tell me why I again, it's so hard to defend my dreams? I am working on it. I am working on being more open about the aspirations I have for myself.
I miss my world of Women's Studies. Enter a group of women who are so incredibly special. Some eco-feminists, and vegans, some who are getting MSWs and working in the field. Some who are single, some who are married. Women who are trans, who are gay but mostly what you will find is a collection of women who are so empowered. Being around these women changes you-for the better. They are the hope the world needs. They are the helping hands. They are the backbone of any movement.
My dreams have always been different then everyone else's. At 14, I wanted to be a Senator for Massachusetts, at 16 it changed to President of the United States, and by the time I graduated college, I wanted to change the world. I always knew law would be where I ended up. It has been my dream for as long as I can remember and Women's studies allowed me to take my dream and my passions and find an end result. Enter in classes filled with Reproductive Rights, Legal Rights of Women, and Family Law. Readings that are filled we deconstructing ideas about society. Learning about tragedies that never make the local news. You may see a young adult who has changed her career path a few times, but I see a woman who's embraced her leadership skills and passions for humanity. I see myself as a strong woman who can bring forth a better community, and a better world for tomorrow. So why is it I feel incredibly alone in many other aspects of my life? Or so misunderstood?
Maybe it is because my dreams and ideas are so different. I want a lifetime of helping others and doing my best to help seek change in the world. I want a nice home and to be well-traveled. So why do I feel as though everyone around me is more concerned about me finding someone to share my life with? I recently joined Match.com with a friend. The results? Have been terrible. There should be a dating website for feminists because there has to be an easier way than this. Its incredibly challenging explaining to someone my fame of mind especially when personally, I don't care if I find someone. What I care about is scoring high enough on my LSAT to get into Northeastern University School of Law. Is this selfish? Is this weird at 24? Am I supposed to want what everyone else wants - a career, a house, children and a husband? I think I am most afraid that all of those things don't matter to me and I am not sure when they will. Maybe later on in my life but maybe not - and I am okay with that. I am okay that my life may be untraditional.
I'm not sure why it is easier to explain this to my feminist friends. I don't think my ideas are necessarily "feminist" but I think they've seen me hands on with my passions. They've discussed, they've asked the tough questions, they've witnessed it. Sometimes it's so nerve racking to explain to my friends or even my family. Admitting that I am different just makes me feel like a girl in high school trying to fit in but knowing deep inside - I'm not like everyone else. Sometimes I really do stop and ask myself what my age is. I'm 24. I am empowered. I am a leader. I am smart. I am going to handle anything that life throws at me. So tell me why I again, it's so hard to defend my dreams? I am working on it. I am working on being more open about the aspirations I have for myself.
